17 Again was definitely a movie that left a deep impression on me. Aside from Zac Efron, there was something in the movie that tugged me to watch it on 2 consecutive days. Though a simple (and rather unrealistic) storyline, the movie seemed to connect with my life in a rather subtle way.

 The core message the movie wants to get across is choice, and the regret that comes with hindsight. In the movie, Mike (Zac Efron) abandoned his college education for his girlfriend/wife. 20 years down the road, he greatly regrets his choices and wishes to have another chance at life. In the end, he discovers that in fact that was he would make the same choice all over again.

Though I have never faced such a drastic choice in my life, I feel that all the little choices I have made so far is pushing me in a direction I do not really want to go. This is why I can relate so well to the movie - I really don't want to wake up 20 years down the road and regret what I could have done at this age. For me, unlike Mike, I will not have a second chance to chase my dreams. I also want to make choices that even if given a second chance, I will make the same choice again. Regret is not something I want to live with for the rest of my life.

17 Again has taught me that I must make good choices while I am in a position to do so. In addition, making choices for selfish reasons may not always bring the greatest satisfaction. I want be somebody. I want to make a difference. Maybe it is time to start choosing wisely. 

I Am Bored

Rules: Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real...nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.

1. What is your name: Shuotian
2. A four Letter Word: Sand?
3. A boy's Name: Shawn
4. A girl's Name: Selene
5. An occupation: Sniper
6. A color: Silver
7. Something you'll wear: Shorts
8. A food: Steak
9. Something found in the bathroom: Shit
10. A place: Singapore
11. A reason for being late: Stuck in a traffic Jam
12. Something you'd shout: Shit(again)
13. A movie title: Star Wars!
14. Something you drink: Soup
15. A musical group: Singapore Symphony Orchestra
16. An animal: Scorpion
17. A street name: Short Street
18. A type of car: School Bus?
19. The title of a song: Saga Maligna
20. A verb: Shoot

Reading abtzy's blog felt like taking a hammer to the head. Even I was surprised at how self-centred I am for forgetting the most important thing in 2008, all the friendships I have kept and forged over a most stressful year. I guess I shall not do a friend by friend run-through like he did because I am really at a loss of words of what to say. What everyone has done for me over the past year is really too overwhelming to describe in words, but one thing is clear - the year would have been rather unpleasant without them.

So this post is a dedication to all those who have stood by me not only for the past year, all the years before that. They have helped to shape me into who I am today, for which I am extremely grateful, and also bore with all my flaws. So, I guess its time for me to thank everyone that has helped me so far. Thank You!

2008 Year In Review

2008, if not very pleasant, was at least an eventful year. If this blog entry was a newspaper, the headline would probably be "A LEVELS" (caps included), since that, after all, is undeniably the most important event of the entire year. I thought of a cool name to give to my personal year of 2008 - "year of the gadgets" since I seem to have acquired many new gadgets (at my dad's expense) over the course of the year. 

At the start of the year I can still remember sending Vivian an sms thinking about how old I was (Yes, I do keep very random memories like that). Ironically, the person I was at the start of 2008 feels like a innocent little kid now. No doubt I would feel the same way again next year, but it does feel that the blazing speed with which 2008 has passed has made me infinitely older (not necessarily a good thing in my opinion). 

First up - studies. My results must have slipped to new lows in this year's assessments. I would avoid mentioning details here, but it would be enough to say that disastrous is probably an understatement. At the very least, I think I adverted a disaster at the A Levels which would probably bail me out of a lot of problems. Still, I think I could have done a lot better in the year if I had just put in that tiny little bit more effort or maybe just uninstalled crysis. One thing I was really pleased with was my SAT II score which basically meant that I avoided having to retake it (it would be a nightmare to have to retake both SATs) and it means that if I do well for my SAT I then I should be able to safely apply to any US university without them chucking my application in the bin within 1 min. 2008 does mark the end of my life as a full time student (for a while) and I am getting a break from studying for these 2 years in the army. Ironically I do feel like going back to studies after a mere 3 weeks in the army. -.- Maybe that would stop me from complaining about studies in uni.

Second - Band. 2008 was a mildly eventful year for the band. Atempo was our big event and I'm glad that we did a good job though personally I thought I could have played better. Nevertheless it was a great experience (especially playing at the esplanade) which I would definitely remember for a long time to come. There was the Japan trip as well of which the most memorable thing about band is probably the 10+ Alexander horns the Japanese band had. Totally shocking. Japan trip was my first trip overseas with the school (technically RI) but I got used to it quite fast (I guess I get used to enjoying myself rather fast) and of course had a lot of fun and spent lots of money, most of it on a camera which only has Japanese firmware. RJCSB also participated in the NBC (which I didn't play for) and got humiliated with a miserable placing. I guess it is a lesson for everyone to not get complacent and that other bands can be just as good or even better despite our confidence that we are a good band. Sadly I missed Coda IV which was apparently an amazing concert and I think I was being a very irresponsible comm member for RWinds. At least I learnt my lesson not to commit to something that I know that I can't commit to. Maybe I'll play for RWinds this year but that would depend on where I'm assigned to in NS. I do hope to keep in touch with my instrument and do hope to be able to join SAF Band. 

Third - Actualy I don't really have a big category that I can consider as significant in 2008. I guess I can make a list of the gadgets I bought.

Apple iPod Touch

Ultimate Ears Super.fi 3

Logitech Noise Cancelling Headphones

Sony Playstation Portable (Free)

HTC Touch Diamond

Computer

Samsung SyncMaster 2253LW

Sony DSC-H10

Razer Death Adder with free Razer Mantis

Razer Lycosa

This list is not a way of bragging how rich I am. I created it to keep track of how much money I have spent on (mostly unnecessary) gadgets just because I thought I needed them or because they looked cool. Looking in hindsight, some of them seem to be a waste of money (why the hell did I need a new phone 2 weeks before enlistment?). Maybe I suffering from something like gadget addiction whereby I can't go by a month without buying a new gadget. Lesson to be learnt? - Be more frugal this year and buy only stuff that I truly need. Also, going for the top of the line model can sometimes be a waste of money when something less expensive can do the job equally well. Somehow I have a feeling at least part of my NS allowance is going into gadgets. 

Music... I seem to have expanded my genres of music I listen to a little this year. I'm going a little into rock and actually finding it quite nice. I still stay away from metal and rap because I find the former too noisy and the latter too monotonous. Music is subjective though, so I have nothing against those who enjoy metal or rap. I still enjoy soundtracks, but I find that they are like fast food compared to restaurants, when compared to stuff like classical music (not in the junk food sense), but more like they compress the intensity into a bit-sized chunks for easy digestion. Currently I am still listening to the High School Musical 3 Soundtrack which I think is an amazing piece of work and really addictive. 

My year in review seems to have gotten rather long winded and draggy. I think I'll end off with something short and sweet. One word to describe 2008 - Scream. Haha

Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep? Why not promise to do something you can actually accomplish? Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point:

1. I want to gain weight. Put on at least 30 pounds. 2. Stop exercising. Waste of time. 3. Read less. 4. Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff. 5. Procrastinate more. 6. Drink. Drink some more. 7. Take up a new habit: smoking. 8. Spend at least $1000 a month on Ladies of the Night. 9. Spend more time at work. 10. Take a vacation to someplace important: like to see the largest ball of twine. 11. Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more. 12. Quit giving money & time to charity. 14. Start being superstitious. 15. Have my car lowered and invest in a really loud stereo system. Get the windows tinted. Buy some fur for the dash. 16. Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabic words. 17. Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt. Only wear white T-shirts with those fashionable yellow stains under the arms. 18. Personal goal: bring back disco.

I must be really bored to do this after an extremely tiring class outing

1. What is your full name?
Chen Shuotian

2. Are you single?
Yes

3. What is your favourite number[s]
42?

4.What is/are your favourite colour?
blue and black (as long as it isnt surrounding my eyes)

5.Least favourite colour[s]
red? i find it hot, like literally

6.What are you thinking now?
how to finish this quiz soon and get to sleep

7. Are you happy with your life right now?
no, even though i should be

8.What are your favourite subjects in school?
civics, assembly ... it goes on

9. Do you shop at malls?
yeah, i probably know orchard road better than my school. Though i don't buy much now

10.Where do you wish to be right now?
flying in the sky (i'm daydreaming)

11. What should you be doing now?
sleeping

12.Do you have any crush on anyone?
yeah. and squished others 

13.When was the last time you bought a clothing item?
yesterday (prom stuff)

14. What was the last thing you drank?
water

15. Do you hate liars? Do you hate backstabbers?

yes. a lot. although i do lie at times. i suppose i can hate myself can't i?

16. Can you make yourself sneeze?
no. wouldnt it be worse if you got halfway to a sneeze and stop?

17.Do you fall for people easily?
no... i'll get arrested by the police for killing people

18. What does your last text msg read?
Tell you what. Meet sgy at the mrt. We're walking randomly around. - sounds like i'm on some secret mission

19. Are you too forgiving?
no

20.How many windows are open on your computer?
2. what happens if you are using a mac?

21.Who was your last call from?
home for not going home

22.What do you do with most of your time?
waste it

23.Will you & your ex get back again?
under the assumption i have an ex... no?

24.Do you sleep with the TV on?
no. i find it irritating

25. Which of your close friends live the closest?
no idea. i live in isolation

26.Which item could you not live during the day?
clothes? people will die if they see me going around naked

27. Would you share a drink with a stranger?
such a philosophical question. if you share a drink, would you still be strangers?

28.How was your weekend?
boring

29.Do you believe ex[s] can be friends?
why not?

30. The last person you quarrelled with?
can't remember

31.The way to win your heart?
show me the money! joking joking

32.What did you do last night?
bought an slr

33. Do you have the same name as one of your relatives?
no. thank god

34.Are you looking for a boyf/girlf?
yeah and how the hell do i contact her while on my 2 year holiday camp?

35.One song that is meaningful to you?
i don't know... one of the high school musical ones? i like songs not for the messages but for the music

36.Do you twirl or scoope you spaghetti?
chopsticks?

37.Do you drink milk straight from the carton?
no i abstain from milk. take cheese though

38.How long is your hair?
no idea. just nice (and way too long by prom)

39.Do you like batman?
i like the gadgets but i think hes a guy whos just obssessed with his gadgets (i loved dark knight though)

40.Who was the last person who told you that they love you?
sensitive question

41.When was the last time you sang out loud?
this morning in the shower

42.What did you have for breakfast?
bread

43.Is your birthday on a holiday?
no...

44.Can you cook?
instant noodles

45.Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?

sportslink?

46.What was the reason for the last troubles you were in?
not mugging enough for 'A's?

47.which do you wear more? Sweats or jeans?
jeans. though they feel really uncomfortable now

48. When is your birthday?
19th september. why the random question

49. Do you swear alot?
hardly now. but i keep saying "shit"

50. What was your first alcoholic drink?
no idea. probably got it forced down by throat

51.Do you have any regrets?
more than there are stars in the sky

52. Who would you like to see now?

both a lot of people and nobody at all. im a being of contradictions

53.Have the cops ever come to your house?
no. i hope it stays that way

54. Are you a social or anti-social person?
anti most of the time. but not really that extreme. let's just say i'm quiet

55.Who are your best friends? Are you still friends with them?
this sounds worse than an econs essay?

56. Ever been in love?
hmm interesting question. isn't it always said that you never know whether you are in love?

57. Ever had braces?
yeah. teeth out of shape now though

58. What do you wear to bed?

t-shirts and shorts

59.Who was the last person who disappointed you?
myself

60. Do you trust people?
yeah. if they gain my trust

61. Who was the first person you talk to today?
my mum?

62. Who was the first person who text you today?
yonglin i think? about going over to pub

63. what was the first thing you did today?
isn't that the same as the breakfast question?

64.Ten people to tag
no thanks. i would rather not inflict this on others

Three weeks passed in the blink of an eye. As we neared the end of the A levels I started getting nostagic feelings about whatever has transpired over the two very fast years. It really didn't seem very long ago that we were stuck in the MPH for orientation or meeting my beloved class for the first time. Now that it is all over, below the happiness that the stressful days of hardcore mugging is over lies the emptiness that follows the finishing of an important event. The feeling has not really sank in yet (in part due to an amazing first day after A levels) but I am sure over the next few days I would start getting mugging withdrawal symptoms. Don't get me wrong, I am really happy that A levels is over but I guess its just a sudden loss of direction or perhaps even a stop in the flow of life. An apt description would be like a car flying off a cliff (please no physics involved), since it is really like losing touch with the reality of JC life and finally letting go of everything (or almost everything). 

I suppose this marks a new chapter in our lives. The days of stressful studying is finally over (for now) and at least for the guys we get to have a break from using our brains for two years (maybe we would prefer studying after that?). There are a lot of things I would like to do during this extremely short period of complete freedom. I would like to pursue some of the activities I have been neglecting due to the 'A's like badminton and band. Also this would be a great opportunity to try out some new stuff such as driving lessons. Also I would very much like to catch up on my games because I am feeling really deprived of games right now. But most of all, it would be to spend time with all my friends who have been beside me all these year and I have been neglecting under the (rather poor) pretense of mugging. I think its only fair to devote some time to those who have been making these two years a most pleasant experience. 

It has been a long day and I am extremely grateful to all those allowed me to have such a wonderful day (ie. my class). I'm really looking forward to having a chalet next week and hope it turns into reality. =)